anna
Senioritis has fully set in and I have way too much to look forward to to even care about what's going on now.
Things have gotten significantly better with the boy. I just miss him. Maybe it’s just phases I’m going through but I really miss him now. I think in times of stress I need his support really badly and that’s why I want him with me so badly. I hope that’s not the only reason I hope that it’s also just because I love and care about him but I couldn’t even tell you how my emotions work these days. I’m so confused and stressed and tired and excited and anxious and worried and paranoid and moody and happy. But I know that right now I’m so glad I’m still with him because he is my rock. He drops everything to listen to me and be there when I need someone to support me or make me feel better or laugh with me or play board games with me. I’m still shocked it’s been 2 years and 6 months because that’s just a crazy amount of time to stay with one person. I mean clearly any doubts I had earlier in the relationship are not part of my doubts now. They were something I got over and I’m happy about that but it also just makes it so much harder when I go to college and we break up. Oh well. I’m already in so deep anyways doesn’t hurt to fall a little deeper :)
So I should be incredibly excited for my future events that are about to occur, and I am but I’m also so stressed. It’s funny because I was just looking back on my college post of how excited and stressed I was about getting into UVA. I’m still kind of bummed about the situation honestly, but it would have made my college choices just that much harder knowing that I had one more option to choose from. Anyways, college picking is stressful. I am anxious about visiting Tech because I’m afraid I’ll really like it. I have a comfort zone with JMU because I have so many friends and such a strong support system and comfortable feeling with the school that I already feel like I’m a student there. I really don’t care if you think I’m being pathetic because I don’t want to be far from my best friends who I have never been far from for long periods of time in my life. Call my lame. Call me pathetic. Go ahead but I’m not being any of those things. College is scary. Making that big of a change so quickly and so much of it at the same time freaks me out, and I know I’m not the only kid who feels this way. I’m just stressed about it. Hopefully my visits to the schools this weekend will confirm a decision that will follow me for the rest of my life because I don’t want to transfer. I want to be confident in my decision that I picked the best school for me and will be proud to stay there for the next four years. Hokies v. Dukes. Let the battle begin!
I always think about how I should take advantage of my European citizenship and live there for a few years because that would be incredible. But I hate cold weather. So maybe the Mediterranean? Italy, Spain, or Portugal would all be incredible to live in. Maybe I’ll go abroad in college because I just feel like that would be the most amazing experience.
